A: Two things come to mind immediately. The first issue would be the whole struggle of how to raise kids who are not entitled. Parents want to see their kids be good citizens and have a work ethic based on an understanding of the value of money and hard work. So, I think parents struggle with those aspirations, often not realizing that their own actions may be creating the very situation they fear.

 

The second issue is how to prepare children for the possibility of having less. These days, I think everybody has some degree of anxiety about maintaining standards of living no matter how much money they have, and they are concerned about preparing the next generation to be able to live with what they have or live within their means.

A: I’m a big proponent of people sitting down and talking. So often, it happens that people just don’t discuss these issues. It seems simple to say, but it’s one of the hardest things we do because it means time and effort. It means listening and really hearing the other person’s position. It means being able to reach a point where someone can say, “I might not agree with you, but I understand that you’re feeling strongly about this issue.” Finding common ground and creating safe ways to talk are the first step, the second step and the third step.

 

A: Part of it is that the person who earned the money knows what went into getting it. The person receiving it may not have any appreciation of that. The person who earns it is also concerned with issues of how to keep earning that wealth, preserving that wealth or keeping his or her family living in the style to which they’ve become accustomed. The person who receives [the wealth] is just accustomed to that lifestyle. So, the importance of sharing and understanding one another’s perspectives, especially with teenagers, is absolutely essential.

 

Families have different styles. Depending on how the family works, earners might feel that those who receive the money shouldn’t have any say in decisions because it’s not their money.

 

In my view, that can become crippling because it doesn’t give growing kids a chance to learn how to handle money and to make decisions about it — to practice having a voice and to experience having that voice heard. On the other hand, some families are too laid back and give too much power to the kids before they know how to use it.